However, many fathers still feel themselves not very comfortable when they have to show tenderness towards their sons, and especially if they have to do this physically – to kiss, to embrace, to touch their children. And if they are able to this towards their little children, but do not do this when children grow up. Many of these children never feel their father's love and as a result they lack the model of expressing it.
Many men get anxious that if they would be too tender, then their sons will become extremely facile, effeminate and careless. There is no reason to support any of these ideas, but it is clear that homophobia existing in our society prevents men from tender relationships between each over, and, more tragically, between them and their sons.
Latest years one more problem appeared to prevent fathers from showing physically their emotions towards sons and daughters. Legitimation concerning protection of children against sexual violence, including incest, arouses suspiciousness in relation with all showings of male tenderness, because most guilty parties here of course are men.
Touching is one of the most fundamental of human needs and several scintific studies repoerted that infants have died if they were insufficiently touced and kissed. But not only infants need touch. Your son will need your touch throught his whole life.
You should not get surprised when your son will pass through age-specific stages and refuse from your tenderness. This will be noticeble especially in youth when for him is important his peers opinion and when he tries to be more independent. However, if you have managed to maintain close relationships based on love then, then the distance is temporal.
Famous actor and master of martial arts, Chuck Norris, said that among lots of pleasant things in his life , the most pleasant thing for him was child guidance. “Presently I am very happy that my adult sons do not feel ashamed and don't feel shy to kiss me in presence of other people when we do meet. Also they are not ashamed to ask me for help when they have problems. ”
Physical affection is just part of relationship built on love. Emotional tenderness and respect are essential for maintaining an open dialogue with the son. Norris, whose father was drunker, explained that he tried to give his children other sample of behaviour. “I wanted to show my sons that I care about them and that I am always on their side. I was always close to them. I played with them, listened to their problems, shered with them everything important in their life. ”
Listening to your son, understanding his feelings, joys and fears, you make him understand thet he may rely on your support. If you are ready to be attentive with his sufferings, he will be able to address you even when the talk is about pleasure. Building relationship on love, without any doubt, is the most important thing you can meke for him.